Dearly.Beloved: June 2010

Okay so this weekend was a whirlwind...of happenings. Quite draining towards the end but all fun nonetheless...antywho so I chilled in the city con mis amigos &&& we ventured down to "the Village" or Soho or w/e its called {totally failing now as a native New Yorker}. It was rather interesting! {one of} The best part{s}: while standing outside of some Gelato place, this young ma'am & fella walk up to me & ask to take my picture! This is what exactly went down*:

Chic cool pic taking ppl: *tap tap* Excuse me miss, but can we get a snapshot of you please?
Me, chic cool person they want a pic of: Oh my gosh, why certainly! *remembers MTV's sexting documentary & how I could possibly end up all over the web nude* oh wait, but what for?
CCPTP: It's for an online magazine. We're gathering photos of chic cool people on the street and would like to include you as well; you certainly fit the bill. Pretty please? It's for the greater good of fashion.
Me, CCPTWAPO: Totally awesome! I'm down. *POSE POSE POSE {as they} SNAP SNAP SNAP*

*sigh* & thus it was done. Just like that. I'm a stah!

As you can see from that exchange, I didn't actually get the name of said online magazine site :-/ #losing

Here's an idea of what I was wearing:

Had to rep my country Ghana this past saturday cuz you know WE BEAT USA IN THE WORLDCUP!! hahaha BLACKSTARS!!

*ok so it might be a slight dramatization...

Ever since the day I clicked on the link to her blog that was posted on TheYBF.com

'Twas love at first read.

Been down with the chick since .BLOGSPOT man.
& Been proud of her consistent come up ever since.
Now she's got a .COM. Got her own column in Essence. Workin on her first book. I even seent her on tv! Let's Talk About PEP.
She's a star ya'll.

I was heartbroken when she came to Spelman for new student orientation week & I wasn't there. A week before I got there. Couldn't she have waited one week?!
But my friend did right by me. Introduced herself to Belle & said she knew her by way of me! :D
Plus: she fell in love with my school! makes me so proud all over again! "Oh don't you wish, you were a Spelmanite like me?!" teehee jus teasin'.

So yeah. I <3 her. She rocks. She's got a formspring for her readers and has answered 1000+ questions. I read them all. Over a three day span.

Antywho, here are some of her answers that me likey. Belle speaks wisdom. Word. Life. (teehee Panama moment)

How does someone increase their self-esteem?
you make a decision one day to put yourself first and you abide by it. you decide you are valuable and worthy of love and what your standards are. it doesn't just happen, you have to declare it for yourself and stick to it. when you hold yourself in high regard, most of the world will fall in line. Everyone won't. But those are people who don't respect or acknowledge your value. Trust me, you don't need them anyway
preach

#nowplaying Bossy-Kelis. If you could be the boss anywhere(excluding your own b/c we already know that) where would it be and what would you do with your position/power (ie:Fortune500co. or PresidentofBelleville)
i'd run BET and/or Tyler Perry's empire. lol at "president of belleville." loves it! Belle Entertainment Television would atone for the ignorant portrayals of negroes on BET in its current state. (shout out the BET fam who need the checks, hate their jobs, and never intend to bring down the race.) i'd start by making love jones 2 and hiring some decent writers for black sitcoms, one that features cisely tyson so she never has to appear in another tyler perry or outkast film. we'd also have "poetry hour" once a week with maya angelou to reverse the harm done thus far
hahaha

where would you honeymoon?
no clue. never thought about it. the place i love, i went to with an ex, so i think that might be inappropriate. i'm still obsessed with Africa, so South Africa or Ghana would be great options.

woop woop! I vote for Ghana ^_^

Why do you think so many people call you arrogant? Have you ever considered those opinions?
I don't know that it's "so many" people. I'm cocky. No doubt. It's almost like a definition of feminine to be insecure.

People don't know what else but arrogant (or bitch) to call a woman who is confident and knows her strengths.

Do you view yourself as a role model ?
ha! I was thinking about this today while grocery shopping.

no. i don't. i don't want the responsibility of being put in a narrow box that says I have to show act right at all times. (trust me, i don't.) it's nice when people say they look up to me or I inspire them, but I've always tried to paint a full picture of who I am and it's not always pretty.

if i am anyone's role model, they will be let down.
She a lie! She's a stupendous role model. Bless her heart, she's so humble.

Belle, I love your fashion... especially your accessories (bracelets, rings, etc.) Where do you get them from?
can't give up my spots. sawwry

teeheehee & cuz of this, I recently found a marvelous spot--cute & cheapie--& I ain't tellin nan a soul where it is. #evl muahahah

Have you ever had or currently have insecurities about yourself physically (face, body, etc.)? If so, how do you deal w/ it?
of course. i'm a woman. isn't that par for the course? i dunno. i just deal. i make do the best i can. work hard at changing what i don't like and accept what i can not change. nobody's perfect.

i think what helped is i know a lot of models and beautiful people. you would look at them and think they're flawless, but then you listen to them talk and they think they're so incredibly flawed. and fat. once you realize everyone has insecurities, it makes you less insecure. i have my moments but it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be or could be.

cue Kanye: "the prettiest girls got the lowest self esteem" *sigh* we all the same.

I never feel like I'm good even when I'm doing good. I always feel like I should be doing more, like I could be better. So I'm never really comfortable. I'm always anxious. I want to appear more confident. Did u ever feel that way? Does it come with time?
that first part is called ambition. if you were comfortable, you'd never want more. it's a good thing.

the "anxious" thing is a personality trait. it can be annoying, but it's likely what keeps you striving for more. it's a gift and a curse. I've got it too. I'm anxious often, get panic attacks in the middle of the night and all that. i've got a huge fear of failure.

confidence doesn't come with time. you can be 60 and insecure. it comes with a decision for self-acceptance. at some point you just have to decide, "this is me, flaws and all {no Beyonce}" and be okay with that. always strive to do your best, but recognize you're not perfect and never will be. when you accept that, you become confident. that radiates out and the world will affirm it back to you (mostly.) it's a nice little circular cycle.

Have you ever gone thru a 'Samantha' [SATC] period in your life...when you just do you and don't care. Would you consider that being a hoe?
nah. never been my thing.

i don't believe in labeling women as "hoes". it's an ugly term to control female sexuality and impart shame on sexually free women.

if common can call a "thug" a "lost man in disguise" then if you're under a belief that a woman should be utmost selective and keep her number low, then you have to allow that a woman who would be called a "hoe" is a lost woman. too. you do more for her by helping her find her way, then calling her ugly names.

i also believe you're not a "hoe" to anybody as long as no one knows your biz. if you feel like dipping and dabbling, make sure he wraps it up, and only move with men who keep their mouths shut

LOVE reading your formspring & blog!! Monica has a song called "One In A Lifetime" which says you only get one love in a lifetime...do you believe that? I certanly hope it's not true, as who I thought was my '1' is now married :(
absolutely not. it's a song. it's a sentiment that sounds great set to lyrics and in theory. but if you ever listen to grown-grown ladies talk, there's AT LEAST the one they married and the one who got away (or who needed to go away). You get AT LEAST two. i think you get more than that. you get as many as your heart is open to.

Ever had a friend who forgets the rest of the world exists when she has a boyfriend? If so, how'd you deal? Every convo we do have revolves around the new boo. It's annoying.
yup. i know that friend and I've been that friend.

you gotta let her go through her love-haze phase. it feels too good and its new so it's the only thing that interesting at the moment. but after awhile, you gotta tell her like someone once told me, "it's annoying." if she doesn't come up with more things to talk about or engage you on other levels, fall back. she'll come back around when she needs you. and you gotta be there because that's what friends do.
that's right, dont hate. let em love!

Do you think listening to positive affirmations to work on self esteem work?
yup. i listened to jaguar wright's "self love, self motivation" for months trying to get my mind right. on the treadmill, driving, just wherever I had my iPod charged. that woman saved my life. if i ever meet her, i'd probably cry at her feet. she got me right when i was in a wrong place.

either her or marvin sapp. now that man? Lord. "he saw the best in me" got me through some hard times. i plan to thank him at essence music festival. hopefully, i can choke back the tears long enough to say "thank you."

"we fall down, but we get up"

That's all for now. I'll post more up another time. Aint she the realest? *sigh*

Read her blog here: A Belle In Brooklyn

And her column here: Essence Magazine {in the real mag, not online}

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